Once...

My Apologies

2008-05-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

I apologies for not showing my face around here in a while, but I have had so much to do. I have barely have had time to scratch my head let alone blog. I miss it!! Inshalla though ill will be coming back as enthusiastic as ever as I have planed for an adventurous summer. So far as updates go, midterms projects some more midterms, with projects on the side ow yes and finally gym. As you can see life is filled with excitement :)

I have a question do any of you have any suggestions for books that I can read? Please no philosophical or political; preferably something with an awesome story in it let me know thanx.

See you soon !!

Move me.

2008-04-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

I hear it, it calls to me I cant resist my eyes are wide shut.

I am in another world, I am on my feet now.

My head tilts back I take a deep breath.

My hands go up, my body moves.

I am no longer in control.

I float, I feel such a rush.

Time stops, nothing around me exists.

I am free, I am alive.

I have to catch my breath I lost track of it.

My feet hit the ground all of a sudden.

I open my eyes and take seat, my three minutes of heaven are over.

Simon's Cat 'Cat Man Do'

2008-04-10T14:10:00.001-07:00

this is for all the cat owners out there , i really think you will be able to relate to this, make sure the volume is up u dont wana miss out on the meow so damn cute.. enjoy :)

Question

2008-04-08T08:28:00.000-07:00

Are you proud of being an Arab? why?

Would you like cheese with that whine?

2008-04-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

I seriously hate it when someone whines and complains with no avail. It just stretches from an hour into two as my stamina diminishes. What’s worse is that after you have suffered through intensely negative vibes, you discover it was all for nothing. I have this friend who has been with the same guy for the past two years, and stuff between them was serious to the extent where his mom and her mom knew about what was going on. Point is however is that they just broke up, so as usually the GF has to pick up the pieces of her friend because that’s how it goes. So back to my point after, two weeks of boosting self esteem and engaging in nonsense feministic jargon, with one phone call from him and its all back to square one. So its time to rebuild again, and bring out the tissue box. This is very time consuming as well as energy draining and not easy to do when you have a collage load to juggle on the side. Guess what!! Yes it’s another phone call from him, but this time she’s happy, she says that they are talking it out, “their friends” now. But why does that make me pissed. I know I am not jealous la walla all the best to them. But I am pissed at her, I think it’s because all the time and energy I spent on her will just wither to waste, and everything I said was of no point. It was all just a bunch of wasted tissue and tears. Do I have the right to be upset with her? That I don’t know all I know is that I am.

Question

2008-04-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

If one day you woke up and everything you built your life around vanished, what would you do ? how would you react?

Do you see

2008-02-22T10:59:00.000-08:00

What is it about this face, those eyes, and these lips?

My hands my feet and I haven’t forgotten about my hips.

All this is me and much more, but why is it all you see?

What is it about this passion, once unveiled?

My glance, my touch, my smell amplified

To be burned in my fire is it all you desire?

Question

2008-02-10T01:21:00.000-08:00

As Arabs are we a collective society or an individualistic one?

That is the degree to which people follow self interest and seek personal fulfilment rather then group interests and social concerns.

The Right Way

2008-01-28T16:23:00.000-08:00

How do I start..

The first time I did this I didn’t really do a good job, or perhaps the better way to put it would be that I didn’t do it right. This blog was meant to be an expression of my internal struggle either of past or of present nature. Instead and as usual I have used the blog as a tool for gaining attention so this is me stating with a clean sleight:

With the help of time I have managed to become the things I hate the most. First and in my opinion the worst is that I have become a hypocrite. I have become the person which I speak so ill of. The person I trash and reduce to a mere particle with just a glance in their direction.

I have become that particle.

And ow my god the lies the deceit so incredible, that I find my self a member of the audience as I tell the tale. What have I become? Is there no way to just pass go collect 200 and start over?

I lead a parallel life one internally and the other externally. I put on a mask and smile, if you were to see me it would seem as though I do not have a care in the world. That I have everything under control with no lose end left untied. But its all lies every single charade every single uproar, all just a mask.

When I speak my voice carries its self so steadily to every presence in the room so there is no hesitation as to who I am. Ahaha but alas as we all know nothing fake ever lasts including strength built upon a memory. The force of my voice as I scream alone in the dark, while my lungs bleed for air seems to just bounce off the walls and into my head, where it amplifies its self far away from anyone’s ears.

I have encaged myself within my mind, entrapped myself within my own body hidden below layers of skin muscle fat and blood. My true self seems only to stem out throw the tips of my fingers and onto this screen.

Hello this is me.

Gazz

2008-01-22T11:48:00.000-08:00

Gazz is a favorite pastime for many, a good way to spend time and feel good about your self afterwards (sometimes: P). You know when your driving around and there is always this one person who thinks that they are better then everyone else, yet they are cruse-ing just the same. I was trying to figure out why people who don’t gizz go to collect numbers go gizzing in the first place. I came up with two reasons but if there are more please feel free to add them.

The first reason would be: that they are feeling down and possibly depressed or fed up with life around then. So they drive around to gain a feeling of existence hoping it will blow life back into their veins; giving them some reassurance that they in fact do exist.

The second reason would be that they need a self esteem boost. Just as simply as that, they are feeling ugly and want to feel godly. So they pile on the layers of makeup, try as much as possible to perfect their appearance. Then they drive around to get attention hoping that the high will last longer this time.

The third reason would be to check out the competition, scan the area to find out what they are up against. Of course this is most likely due to complete boredom, but none the less seems a reasonable assumption. I hope that people don’t judge the completion biased on what they see, because if so one could be led to believe that there is even hope for sheep.

Question

2008-01-22T11:37:00.000-08:00

Where do all the petty ppl chill? :P

Question

2008-01-22T07:52:00.000-08:00

If you were both hungry and sleepy, which would you do eat or sleep?

Forgotten

2008-01-21T16:02:00.000-08:00

Bi3tni bir5ee9

*wadi3 hurayra ina al rukab murta7ilon

Inconsideration

2008-01-18T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today I heard a disturbing story regarding how people are harsh in delivering bad news. Ripping the band aid off as fast as you can doesn’t seem an appropriate approach in every situation. A while back there was a car accident and it ended up killing three young boys all at once (allah yir7amhoom). It came time to deliver the news to the parents of one of these boys. You would expect that the cops might take a trip down to the house and deliver the news in person, or even make a call telling the parents to come to the station because their son has been in an accident. Do you know what they did instead they called the moms cell phone and asked for the dad the following is the conversation took place:

Cop: Are you the parent of ……

Dad: Yeah

Cop: Your son died, we need u to come down to the station.

Just like that!! From what I heard the dad threw the phone in a window and broke it. Seriously what are people thinking, is there no sense of compassion anymore. The man could have died on the spot, is there no consideration.

Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

2008-01-17T15:49:00.001-08:00

this guy has talent, this is only one of his acts you should watch some of his other works. Its actually funnier then this one.

Lying Game

2008-01-17T08:33:00.001-08:00

can we say Gullible !!

Technology is Everywhere Literally

2008-01-17T07:10:00.000-08:00

Everyone is talking about how technology has effect their lives, and how it did this or how it did that. But one thing I failed to read about is how it even affected the way we spend time in the bathroom. Noo eww’s now, this is reality. What brought this topic to my attention was one day I was walking past the bathroom and I heard my brother singing along to the music playing from his laptop“It starts in my toes, and I crinkle my nose,” yes I know disturbing but some view it as cute :p. So anyway it got me thinking as to what the laptop has replaced. People usually take books or magazines into the bath, now they can take the laptop to read, surf the net, listen to music, to chat, and to blog. It helps the time pass by faster: P. Don’t worry I was on the couch while writing this .

Is This Normal!!

2008-01-16T16:21:00.000-08:00

Today I was scheduled to have my wisdom teeth removed, notice I said teeth. I was scheduled to remove the lower ones. I get to my appointment at around 5pm and get in to the dreaded chair. The doc comes over and starts describing the procedure, and starts by injecting me with the local anesthetic. He then pokes around to see if I am numb, and guess what I am not. He gives me another shot and another, and still I am not numb. By now we are up to 4^th shots or 5^th if you count the one he gave me in the other side. The doctor starts to worry and telling me about the alternatives if the 5^th shot doesn’t work. Surly enough the 5^th shot does the trick, but I left the dentist with only one tooth missing rather then teeth.

Unleashed

2008-01-08T15:42:00.000-08:00

Unleashed is the process of unraveling the truth of one’s self. It’s pealing back the layers to final take a peak to what is stored within. It is the striping of the protective coating which surrounds ones inner core. It is reaching down into the depths and rattling the inner demons to see what they are capable of. It’s an awakening a brilliant rush. If done properly it can cause effects to last for a lifetime, better then any drug ever created. The process of being unleashed can end in one of two ways. One can either spin their way to self destruction, regressing into a mere particle, unrecognizable by anyone. Or they can achieve self recognition, a rare phenomenon, and no longer have to abide by the social standards of what is and what should be.

Conversation

2007-12-22T03:04:00.000-08:00

Mom: Hi, hope you are studying and not wasting your time

Moi: I am :) , what you been up 2 lately woman?

Mom: I worry about u sometimes when u take the world as a game and do not estimate things right. In short u r young and inexperience, this is why I exist to guide u my dear.

Moi: Mother the only way ill stop doing my stupid shit is when I find who I am and what I am meant to be. Then and only then can I say no to opportunities thrown in my direction, because I know that they are not meant for me , and ill know that I am meant for better things

Mom: But you will always carry them with you, and it might take a lifetime to find yourself so do not do something that cannot be reverse or scars your vision.

Moi: Mom I need a target, by now I know this much about my self, when I have a target ill shoot straight at it. The trick is finding the right one I hope I am on the right track with the business that I am proposing. Did you ever ask your self why is it that I want to leave everything I know and go into un-ventured territory?

Mom: because you’re crazy, you’re trying to find out something by venturing and experimenting, rather then researching the informition. your the easiest and riskiest path… slower your pace.

Moi: lool that’s one way to look at it haha. It seems I do it because when I find my self in a situation I am not familiar with I rely on instinct and this is when I sneak a peak of the real me, the me I am looking for. One thing I can tell you is that I no longer want this in the way I am finding it not worth it any more.

Mom: good for the both of us.

Scholarships

2007-12-11T10:25:00.001-08:00

One of the most wonderful things about Kuwait is that it provides its people with the opportunity to better themselves and their country in turn. Every year they have a cretin number of scholarships used for educational purposes. They send the most deserving (or so it seems) students to study abroad, places such as the States, Australia, Egypt and the UK to name a few. The purpose of creating this opportunity is to educate the Kuwaiti citizens to create great minds, so that they can implement change and development. So, intelligent, smart and those who hold much promise are sent, so that they can one day become innovators right? Wrong. A minority of those who are sent are the one’s who actually fall under this category, the rest are the ones who’s father, mother, brother, uncles or whatever’s hold a great influence ( “ Wasta”) placed them their. Some of these students who have been placed into the program are truly deserving of it, when they get to their destinations they actually study, learn and improve themselves, thankful for the opportunity they have been given. In this case there is a justification for the use of “Wasta”. Others give Kuwaiti’s a bad name. They travel for the purpose of partying and bringing destruction to themselves. What’s worse is that even after their first year is up and no positive development has happened on behalf of a given student, “Wasta” is used again to keep him there. This has many repercussions on the following generations who apply to get a scholarship; the scrutinization is painful, yet many low life’s slip through the cracks and manage to get a scholarship once more thanks to the “Wasta”. So instead of punishing those who are the cause of the problem, it falls on the heads of those who aren’t even at fault. The worst part of the whole issue is that usually the people with the most influence are those with the greatest amount in their bank account. It is really unjust to use the “Wasta” to send their sons or daughters on a scholarship if they don’t deserve it, because they can afford to send them and this minimizes the available slots.

Crush

2007-11-28T06:28:00.000-08:00

As a kid I used to have crushes on random guys. Sometimes they would be hot at others smart, depending on my mood . The crush used to stem from wacky hormones, they were uncontrollable but as quick as they came they vanished. It’s been a while since I have had one of those moments, where at the site of a specific guy I just turn to mush. I have been thinking as to why this hasn’t happened to me lately, and just like that all of a sudden it did. The reason I didn’t recognize it at first was because the rush I got from my crush was unclear, since it had changed. The feelings were no longer that of fluttering butterflies in my stomach, or thoughts of how our babies would look. It was more like admiration, respect and the anticipation of what else is there to him.

the thing is..

2007-11-23T06:35:00.000-08:00

I am sick of having everything childproofed for me, no longer a kid and soon not even a teen. Technically I am old enough to be a parent, but how am I suppose to be a good one if I have not had my fill of life. Seems odd I live one life but with two different paths. One in which I am independent and always learning, the other I am just stagnant. Being flexible is one thing but being constantly in an unstable environment is another. It’s a battle one minute I am free as a bird, the next I find my self in a cage. I have been coping for two years now with this same scenario, but lately the cage seems to be shrinking. I find my self performing greater acts of rebellion once I am allowed to fly to compensate for the lost time spent in the cage. Though more and more I find my self falling deeper into a hole that not even my wings can help carry me out of it. Seems I have one of two choices either try to eliminate the cage by embarking on a new path, or I just deal with it.